Splash No.      1133

Hash no:         1408

Hares: Elmo and ShatNav

Date:   26 January 2010

Hash: Decoy Country Park

On Down: Keyberry Inn

No. of runners last week: 43

            As the mountain glaciers had receded up the hill towards the reservoirs, and we can now get in and out of Christow without requiring a sled pulled by a pack of huskies I thought that maybe it was a good night to begin my hashing for 2010.  I enthused the other hashing Mints, Tic Tac and Zambezi, by telling them that the food was always great at the Keyberry, so we all packed into the car for downtown Newton Abbot.

An expectant group was gathered in the car park to be advised that it was a nice short hash (now where have I heard that before?) with 2 long short splits and a re-group.  Lots of the usual suspects were there, Airfix, Tadpole, Coldbits, Windy, Maverick, Glasseye, Gromit, Gary Glitter, Stinkhorn, Puffball, Nice Bouy, Cheesey Chips, Dicksack, Cinderfella, Miss Whiplash, Foxy Dog, Flying Pig, Hot Fuzz, Simon and others that I apologise for missing or not knowing their names!  We were also joined by some visitors from Haldon H3.  Off we all charged across the football pitches, and sure enough, having run right the way across to the far side the route brought us back round the lake.  Lots of nice checks later, we reached the far side of the lake and a track took us into the suburbs of NA.  Here we came to the first Long/Short split, where I chose short, when to my consternation, the longs all appeared to come back from the direction that they’d set off in, doing what appeared to be a long back check.  This left me in the very unusual and uncomfortable position of being at the front just as we came to a narrow steep path.  You know what its like when you’re driving down a narrow lane and you come across a long queue of cars trying to get past an old banger wheezing its way up a steep hill?  Well, I’m afraid to say that the hash soon resembled just such a queue, with me at the front!  At last the path got a bit wider and the impatient FRBs managed to squeeze by.  The RG was at the top of the hill and provided a welcome rest, which was followed by a gentle decent back to the cars. Zambezi’s torch had gone from intermittent to completely nothing (after I tried to mend it!), so she had a gentle run back to the cars with me.

I was just wondering what had happened to the second L/S split when a group of FRBs headed by Cheesey Chips appeared from the far side of the car park.  Had they done the second long that I had somehow missed?  No, he and Dicksack and a few others were feeling so full of energy they decided to put in an extra lap of the lake!

So then on down to the Keyberry, where worryingly it appeared to be under new management and there was no sign of the lovely ladies who used to serve great big helpings of Hash Nosh.  True enough, a finger buffet of ‘nibbles’ arrived, with Tic Tac and Zambezi looking accusingly at me for dragging them out under false pretences!  I think the pub had kindly provided the food for free and our contributions for the food were going to charity, which I dutifully contributed towards as Zambezi told those collecting donations to “ask money bags in the corner!”

Airfix officiated over the Down Downs, which were awarded to Maverick for being breathless (I know the feeling), Foxy Dog for getting lost and going to the wrong start, and Cinderfella for his 100^th Ash hash.  Hot Fuzz and Simon nearly got one for complaining the hash was too short, and Nice Bouy for returning from Hawaii where his boat had sprung a leak.

So, many thanks for what was truly a nice short hash Elmo and ShatNav, with the added attraction of a lake to run round for those training for the Grizzly who wanted to show off! 

On! On!

Mint

PS Many of you will know the Teign House Inn at Christow and its hospitable landlord Pete.  (A few years ago it was awarded “Hash Pub of the Year” by TVH3.)  Well in their infinite wisdom, the splendid planning officers at Dartmoor National Park have decided that the planning permission that they gave him for camping on the field next to the pub was illegal because it is designated as farm land.  (It hasn’t been farmed for the 19 years that I have been in the village!)  They are now taking action to withdraw it.  They are also trying to stop him from organising mini-rugby and mini-football on the field because someone has complained about the noise.  (The matches stop at around 6:30pm!)

If, like me, you feel that it is important that enterprising businesses that provide a valuable and popular service to the residents of Dartmoor National Park should be supported rather than restricted, then you should write to the Planning Department, Dartmoor National Park Authority, Parke, Bovey Tracey, TQ13 9JQ concerning the use of the land adjacent to the Teign House Inn, Christow. 

You might like to quote the fact that DNP’s own website states that it has a Statutory Purpose to “promote opportunities for the understanding and enjoyment of the special qualities of the area by the Public.”  (So why not let visitors camp on the very edge of the Park?)  In carrying out this work they are required to “seek to foster the economic and social well-being of local communities within the National Park.”  (By stopping businesses from operating?  Doh!)

Splash No.      1131

Hash no:         1406

Hares: Bubbles & Larks Vomit

Date:   11^th January 2010

Hash: Chudleigh CP

On Down: Bishop Lacey

No. of runners last week: 14

Chudleigh CP 7.20pm, another cold winter’s tale.  The sleet was bucketing down, the wind was howling and an initial search of the car park revealed it to be lifeless.  No one had turned up, unbelievable, or they’d left early, drat.  Then a dark shadow seemed to move near one of the pillars by the library and a closer inspection revealed a small group of hashers lurking in the dark cloisters down there seeking temporary refuge.

It was time to go, but no one moved, there was a problem.  Sneezy and Snow White hadn’t arrived yet.  Bubbles and Larks Vomit had spoken to them earlier that evening to warn them of the chaos and gridlock that had consumed the A38 in the area and urged them to take another route at all costs.  But it was no good and Sneezy and Snow White rolled in several minutes later having been stuck for sometime on the dual carriageway.

So On-On we went, barely over a dozen of us, stomping through the slush and the icy rain.  The trail was laid in sawdust and was tricky to see in places but the hares kept us all mainly on track, allowing us to make the odd mistake and enjoy a few back checks.  Having complained that I wasn’t seeing the marks early on in the hash, Bubble’s corrected himself  ‘Did I say on the right? Err no, it’s on the left as well, in fact we’ve just laid it anywhere.’

Running out of Chudleigh on the main road Airfix, Sneezy and Snow White were eagerly discussing names with Noname Ellen putting forward ideas such as Snow Drift and Slush Face in celebration of the recent weather conditions.   Seemed like naming fever was in the air.

Bubbles described the hash as a Clover Leaf, obviously centred on Chudleigh as we ran into the out skirts and away again a couple of times.  There were a few encounters with the A38 and the traffic jam and we even ran along side at one stage, hope we didn’t look too much like some weird rescue party.

The going seemed to be much the same, very wet and cold with a few ups and downs.   There were numerous melt water torrents to run through together with some road floods and saturated fields, all covered in an inch or two of slush.   

At the beginning it was agreed to stay together as a group for practical reasons of navigation and safety in numbers, however, at the first long short split whilst everyone else went long, Sneezy decided to go solo and disappeared into the darkness on the short.  It seemed quite a while later when we met Sneezy again.  He’d missed an important arrow pointing to a stile and was now running the long backwards towards everyone else.  

The route was becoming increasingly difficult to follow and though I felt I was doing okay myself until I became concerned at the erratic and frequent use of sawdust through one field and realised I’d been following a series of slush-covered molehills.   Soon after that Bubbles was instructing all the Hashers to stop looking for the trail because it had been completely washed away and no longer existed. 

One particular green lane had a hidden danger of submerged ice in one of the flooded ruts.  Snow White was the first to fall followed by Noname Ellen in precisely the same place ending up completely on her back in the icy water and complaining that she had not brought a change of clothes. 

On down in the Bishops Lacy and a welcome roaring fire, with a bunch of hashers standing tightly around.  There was an odd looking thing in the hearth, it turned out Cheesy Chips had done something to one of the logs with his hat.   The food was good, a selection of hash special curries, only they sold out of the lamb after just one order.   Noname Ellen was questioned on her dubious behaviour on the ice and tried to completely deny everything.  On account of her behaviour, recent weather and age she was named Slush Puppy and issued with a down down along with the hares.  A uniquely enjoyable hash, suppose things are going to return to abnormal now the weathers warming up!   On On…

Noname Graham and Slush Puppy

Splash No.      1130

Hash no:         1405

Hares: Gormless & Grommit

Date:   4^th January 2010

Hash: Lower Haytor CP

On Down: Carpenter’s Arms

No. of runners last week: 32

Splash No.      1129

Hash no:         1404

Hares: Red Kevin, Mint & TicTac

Date:   29th December 2009

Hash: Manaton Church CP

On Down: Dolphin

No. of runners last week: 40

Been hashing for more than 12 months now and so far so good, escaped the words up until now! So here’s my attempt.

Tuesday night came around and as usual my chauffer failed to provide a punctual service. So once Dicksack had made it through the already gathered hashers to a parking space we joined in, to find Gromit making his first official address as the vice GM.  After announcements from Sneezy regarding that small matter of our membership, which is even cheaper this year so I’m told, we moved on the virgins. First to present themselves was Paul and Henry from Kingsteignton, brought along by Drag Act.  Also making his debut appearance was Hot Fuzz’s boyfriend.

Now over to the hares, Red Kevin, Mint and Tictac. To only see Mint was a little concerning, but its no problem - the others had gone to re-lay the trail! Still we were reassured that when we get to a river crossing that looks dangerous that’s because it is. But knee deep water is probably ok. Two long short splits we were told and I think he made up how far it was. Oh and we hope the flour is still there.

So ON ON we went, into the mud and water.  On to long short split and it was all down hill until we got to that dangerous river and after risking life and limb things were looking up all the way to a deserted gatepost dressed in only a sweet package of lips and teeth, ‘on to regroup’.  And here we gathered without a hare in sight (at least they started as they meant to go on). After a small gathering of FRB’s we set off (uphill again) and once nearly home we reached another long short split.

So off I went, only catch up with Foxy Dog, Cinderfella, Legs 11 and Strong bow, to mention a few, totally stranded on a view point rock. Despite all ways, but the path, involving a shear drop they were all looking for the trail! But never fear as Drag Act soared past following the trail, proudly calling ON ON.  We all followed and then my favourite, OH.  So back to the car park where virgin Henry was placing food orders in my name, and Red Kevin deciding not to worry about Sir Limpalot and Slippery Slapper who had arrived late and as we later found out decided to run the hash backwards.

Back in the pub down downs were awarded to Henry (who needs naming) for shouting yes please when Sneezy shouted Cheesy Chips, Red Kevin for drinking his flour and not knowing the way and Cinderfella for his birthday. Oh but don’t forget Strong bow’s birthday on Thursday so best give him a drink as well. After a couple of sing songs congratulations were in order for Miss Whiplash and Cinderfella’s engagement. And a reminder that Glasseye and Dynamo are looking for some mad march hares.

On On

          Cheesy Chips

Splash No.      1128

Hash no:         1403

Hares: Underlay & Rick O’Shea

Date:   22nd December 2009

Hash: Lower C P - Bovey Tracey

On Down: Dolphin

No. of runners last week: 35

I have not run with the Ashburton hash for a good 10 weeks, so just warning you my hash names will be a little….. mixed up/wrong. But I’ll do my best anyway.

What an icy night Tuesday the 22^nd was, but many loyal hashers turned up regardless. I was greeted by a car park which resembled an ice rink; the tarmac was completely covered by ice.

Unfortunately Rick O’Shea was unable to run with us, but he and Underlay still laid the hash and called the hash circle, this being a tinsel hash there was much tinsel and many Christmas outfits. Notably Sir Limp-A-Lot was all wrapped up but Strongbow was underdressed, wearing only shorts and a t-shirt! We were promised a short, dry and to the point hash, including some pathways marked by tinsel and a ‘SP’ which signified ‘sprint’, there was an important ‘ex’ ash hasher, Shergar, former GM  and Maisey, mother of hash hounds, Themba & Carrie, and some visitors.

After a treacherous downhill track, we were greeted by Rick O’Shea, mulled wine, chocolate biscuits, blackcurrant, and those who wanted a bit of a shot, some rum. Apparently there were marsh mallows, but some bugger ate them all, not naming any names……………….A Land Rover tried to pass, but mulled wine was forced upon them!  They drove off merrily to their house, whose gates Strongbow was fascinated by, which moved on their own, as if by magic!!! After much time (for some ‘FRB’s’!!!!!), the hash got going again, down to the main road, where Airfix was spooked by a scary car, much to the entertainment of nearby hashers. A further long short split lead the longs --- I don’t know where the shorts went --- towards the promised ‘SP’, which a few did, and were faced with the reality that it didn’t tell you where the sprint ended, or if it did, we didn’t see it. And so, the hashers that did it sprinted a long way into the woods and just kept going. Oh dear!!!! The run then swiftly took us back to the pub, where I fell over again, and where the beer drinking and food eating began! Airfix took great pleasure in doing the down downs, where he took the mick out of me --- with a few hints from Drag Act --- about playing ‘hockey’ and ‘finding’ girls, to great applause, and yes it was girls, not boys. Cinderfella was mentioned, for calling someone by their ‘nerd name’, and hanging around girls schools and ‘talking’ to young female hashers, whilst posing as a gas man. Down downs were given to me, for obvious reasons, Strongbow, for ‘loosing his kit’ or something, and Underlay for doing a great ‘virgin’ lay. Thanks to the pub, and to the hares, it was a great night!! Hope you’ve had a good Christmas, and I hope you all have a happy new year!!!!!

On! On!  Legs 11

Hash Boxing Day Walk

A group of about 20 hashers and their families gathered just outside Holne to walk off Christmas on Boxing Day.  The role-call included Absorba, his wife Sarah & their daughter Carina; Graham, Ellen who despite the number of hashes are still un-named, plus the rest of their family; Grommitt, Gazunder, Ferrari, Bumper Car and Willy Wonker; Bogoff; Passion Flower, Toby & John (not walking yet - parents these days are just so slow); Sneezy, Snowwhite, Tadpole & Coldbitz.

            While Grom & Bogoff shuttled cars about to have one available at the Tradesmans, the rest of us set off promptly at 1130, with Guzunder & Absorba laying hash style marks so that Grom & Bogoff could catch us up.  The person who suggested laying a circle with a number of dots going off in the wrong direction was told that was not the idea of the day.  As we walked across Holne Moor wintery showers blew past us, but no one seemed to mind.  We were kept on track by Sneezy with a map and Tadpole cheating with a handheld GPS.  The only thing worthy of a down down as we crossed the moor (excepting the GPS) was Ferrari loosing his fabulous Spiderman wellies in the shiggy. 

            A very shiggyful down hill track (where Bumper Car lived up to his name with a great tumble) led us to the Tradesmans, where they had laid on an excellent Boxing Day menu.  There followed a very leisurely lunch, with John, Temba & Carrie all being much admired by the other people in the pub.

            After lunch the families all headed straight back to the cars (Grommitt, Gazunder & family were going back to a late Christmas meal with Guzunder's daughters) and the remaining group set off back up to the moor.  We were watched over as we walked up through the deer park by a magnificent stag and his group of hinds.  Then we had a pleasant walk back across Holne Moor to the cars.

            Thanks to Sneezy & Snowwhite for organising a really pleasant day - just right for walking off Christmas.

Coldbitz